Despite my recently discovered courage to try new things and take on new adventures, I still have plenty of moments of doubt and fear. Just yesterday, for reasons unknown, I started to panic and think about all the negative things that could happen to me during my trip to Spain. Thoughts of being robbed, getting lost, or simply being absolutely miserable crept into my mind and I started asking myself why I was planning this trip in the first place. It's going to cost me a lot of money. It could even potentially cost me my job if I am not careful. What if I come back and have no job, no money left over, and suddenly no place to live? All of these thoughts were charging through my brain and I began to wonder if it was all worthwhile. I have lived comfortably and safely for thirty-three years. I wake up in a safe bed every morning, I drive my little car to my simple job, and I earn a paycheck that lets me spend lazy Saturdays at Starbucks or occasionally see a Thursday night movie with friends. That's not so bad, right? That's a pretty calm and comfortable life, free of worry or panic. No reason to complain, right? WRONG.
For far too long I have convinced myself that safer is better and I allowed my fear of the world to keep me locked away in my tight little bubble. Sure, I had my friends and family to keep me company but even my friends have traveled a bit, even if only within the confines of The United States. Two of my siblings have traveled abroad and my youngest brother has been to the West Coast. I have only traveled as far as Florida and to be honest, I didn't really take advantage of my time there. Spending a month in Spain is going to be incredible. Even if it rains every day, I will find new things, new places, new opportunities to be an entirely different person and see the world from an entirely new angle. If I continue to allow my subconscious to control my actions, I will never experience life. I want to live, not just be alive!
Were it not for speaking Spanish I probably would have allowed my brain to prevent me from ever traveling anywhere in the world. I am thankful that my obsession for speaking a second language has granted me the confidence to take chances in my life. Sure, there is still that fear that I will get to Spain and my brain will freeze and suddenly all that vocabulary I have studied will be for nothing, but I have to overcome this ridiculous notion and have confidence in my abilities. I have to have confidence in myself! We all have fears but we all have the ability to conquer our fears as well. What fears are you overcoming to better your life? Is language learning a part of that? Let me know and we can talk soon!
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