Final Thoughts

With just five days before I make my way back to the United States, I thought I would take some time to reflect on what I have accomplished, what I missed out on, and what I would and would not change about my journey.

First of all, I have to say I don't regret anything about this trip.  Even with the things that didn't quite work out the way I had hoped, I still feel accomplished in the sense that I was able to make this trip all on my own, and every step of the way was a learning experience.

My primary goal was simply to spend as much time speaking the Spanish language as I could.  In that regard, I did not speak as much as I had hoped, and that was my own fault for not engaging more people in conversation.  It turns out being shy travels with you to foreign countries.  That being said, I am proud of the few brief conversations I did have.  I realized that I can maintain a conversation with any Spanish speaking person out there, and while I may not know every possible word in the Spanish dictionary, I know how to move along without killing the entire conversation.  What can I take away from this?  Well, I have been inspired to talk more with my friends and colleagues back home who do speak Spanish.  Now that I know I can do it here in Spain, I have no reason not to continue practicing in the US.

As far as being a member of the community, well that was difficult as I was staying in a neighborhood full of a variety of ethnicity's that weren't Spanish.  I heard many different languages throughout my stay, and I certainly don't regret staying here, but unfortunately, it kind of hampered my progress more than it helped.  I saw basically all the major sites I wanted to see, but I avoided restaurants which was my own personal choice.  Mostly the problem was that locally, all the restaurants served Indian food, not authentic Spanish dishes.  I felt uncomfortable eating alone, so I basically bought all my meals at the supermarket and ate in the apartment.

So what would I change about this adventure?  Well, next time, I would like to have a travel partner.  I specifically did not want anyone here with me this time, as I needed to be able to survive on my own for a month, but now that I have done it, I think it would be nice to have someone come along with me.  I would still insist on the Spanish only rule, but it would make it easier to do some of the social things I missed out on this time around.  Also, I don't think I would choose to stay an entire month unless I could plan a lot more to do.  I felt a month was important this time around as I needed to have a time of adjustment before I could really dive in.  Now that I know what to expect, two to three weeks would be plenty.

I think Madrid is beautiful and I could certainly see myself staying here again, but it might also be nice to see other parts of the country.  Again, my purpose was more to practice talking than it was to go exploring, but now that I have dipped my toes in the water, it might be fun to see other places.

So did I have to spend a month in a foreign country in order to perfect my use of the language?  Of course not, and I knew that all along.  I was curious to see how my level would progress and I do think that despite my hesitation, I have picked up a bit here and there simply by listening to how others speak.  One thing I have learned about my Spanish is that I clearly understand Latin American Spanish better than the Spanish spoken here in Spain.  In fact, that might be one reason to be hesitant to travel to other parts of the country, as other regions have their own distinct accents.  Since I don't think I'll be returning anytime too soon, I am content knowing I have a firm grasp on Latin American Spanish.  That will obviously be more beneficial to me at home.

I'm ready to go home, but I am certainly happy, and more importantly, proud with all I have seen and done.  I imagine my next post will be coming to you from the United States.  Talk to you soon.

Why It's Harder To Learn Spanish In Spain

So I have been in Madrid for two weeks now, and I finally feel as if I'm settling in.  Nice to know I am finally comfortable, halfway through my trip.  That being said, one thing I think I have learned in my time here is that, for me at least, practicing Spanish has actually been harder and even less productive than when I am home in the U.S.  "How can that be?" you ask.  Well, let me try to explain.

First of all, I arrived in Spain on a Friday morning and I hit the ground running.  I was excited, terrified, and exhausted all at once.  I had never been to a foreign country, and to be honest, even my experiences in big cities in the U.S. were limited, so to find myself on a subway, chugging away under the streets of Madrid all by myself was exhilarating and terrifying all at once.  I found my way to my host's apartment, unpacked, and hit the streets, hoping every stranger on the street would stop to chat.  Well, that wasn't the case.  In fact, I was nervous to be walking around all alone.  I didn't know anything or anyone and I wasn't even sure I could find my way back to the apartment if I strayed too far.  My first few days here were a blur and once my vision cleared, I realized not only had I not spoken very much Spanish, I hadn't spoken much at all.

After getting myself quite lost one afternoon, I decided I had better head home, regroup, and plan things out a little better.  I realized I had locked myself into a defensive mindset.  I was constantly on edge, worried I would get lost or say or do the wrong thing.  Instinctively, my brain locked me into English.  I wasn't consciously aware of it, but I wasn't allowing myself to think in Spanish.  I think I have said it before, but for me, speaking in Spanish is like flipping a switch in my brain.  Sometimes it is very easy to switch between languages, and other times, it takes quite a bit of effort.  Since I realized the trouble I was having, the switch has been easier to flip, but I am still reverting to English too quickly.

I have two more weeks here and I am hoping I can be more diligent in thinking and then speaking in Spanish.  I know I can do it, but it has to be done consciously.  I know being out of my comfort zone has had an impact on my abilities and I am hopeful when I return to the U.S. I'll be more comfortable using the language.  We'll see. Do you think stress plays a significant role in our language learning?  I think I would have to say yes to that.  Thoughts or comments?

Use It Or Lose It?

Sometimes I worry that if I don't spend every waking moment of my life thinking in Spanish instead of my native English, I will quickly lose the ability to speak even the most basic phrases and my upcoming trip to Spain will not only be a huge failure, but also extremely frustrating.  Then, I stop and tell myself to be rational and I ease my own fears.

I have been studying Spanish since 2008 and that doesn't count what I learned in school between 1996 and 2004.  Sure, if I were to stop speaking Spanish entirely I would most certainly lose the ability to speak it as well as I do now, but it's silly to think that counting to five in English instead of in Spanish is detrimental to my progress.  I suppose I have been this way with all of my hobbies throughout my life, but I think the important thing for me to realize here is that Spanish is becoming a way of life for me, not just a hobby.  Sure, there are days when I feel like I can't even recall how to say cat and dog in Spanish, but then there are the days where I feel almost more comfortable using Spanish than I do using English.  By practicing just a little bit every day, I retain the information without burning out my brain.  I am getting used to the idea that I can switch between the two languages fairly easily and my hopes are that after spending four weeks in Madrid I will come home much more comfortable speaking in Spanish conversationally.  I don't expect to come home necessarily knowing any more of the language than I already do, rather I simply seek the confidence to speak more freely and without as much hesitation.

Of course I fear that once I return, life will slowly go back to the way it was and I will not use Spanish nearly as much as I would like.  My hopes are that by gaining the confidence to speak more openly, it will open new doors for me and present me with new chances to use the language on a day to day basis.  Once you've found yourself comfortable with your new language, what do you do to maintain it?  If you're not 100% immersed in the language, what ways do you study to keep it sharp in your mind?  I'd love to her thoughts on this.  Let me know!

The Great Classroom Debate

Over and over again, I read about students who are immensely frustrated with the language learning classes in their schools.  Why is it that classrooms seem to deaden the desire to learn among young people?  Schools are meant to be the places we send our children to learn and grow into adults but often I find the reviews to be abysmal.  Students are uninspired by the curriculum and become reticent, especially when it comes to learning a foreign language, leading to failure to learn more than some basic vocabulary and the very simplest ways to communicate.  I find it hard to blame the students in this case, as I too as a student found my Spanish classes to be either boring or at times overwhelming with the various grammatical topics we covered.  I was a good student, however if I was not inspired to learn, it was very easy to shut myself off and stubbornly refuse to learn.  I couldn't find the right place for accent marks or often I conjugated the verbs incorrectly, making me feel foolish which pushed me further down into my shell.  The more confused I became, the more I shut myself off from learning.  So how is it that now, fifteen years later I am not only enamored with the language, but I find it easy to learn?  It all has to do with inspiration, motivation, and the desire to learn.

I love learning, but that does not mean I loved my time in school.  As I said, often school can be boring, methodical, and entirely uninspiring.  My whole attitude towards learning Spanish changed when I found myself surrounded by native Spanish speakers who I desperately wanted or needed to communicate with.  I learned how to talk, which goes well beyond memorizing vocabulary lists or learning how to conjugate verbs.  Yes, those things are critical when it comes to learning a language, even in your own native tongue, but there has to be more to it than that if you want a student to retain the information.  When I started learning why we said things in Spanish the way we did, it all started to click.  When I heard native speakers talking, I started to understand where to place the accents.

Tell me something and I'll forget it.  Show me something and I'll understand it.  Practice it with me, and I'll be able to do it.  Classrooms simply do not offer enough practical usage of the language to teach a student how to speak effectively with another person.  Sure, after a few months, anyone can ask the basic survival questions we all learn when first taking on a new language, but how many students can actually talk to another person in that language?  I'm not suggesting we can teach complete fluency in a matter of four or five school years, but if we start emphasizing communicating over rote memorization, I think we'll start to see a tremendous change, not only in the success rates of the students, but in the overall satisfaction the students get out of gaining a skill such as speaking a second language.  Being able to conjugate verbs is boring, but being able to use a skill in my everyday life is fun, and when it becomes fun, it is not a chore to learn.  Clearly not every student is going to fall in love with foreign languages, as I was never one to fall in love with, say, chemistry.  We can, however, make learning more fun and find ways to encourage those who will fall in love with language learning.  I wish I could find a way to work with public schools to improve foreign language classes.  Should anyone have any suggestions, send them my way!

When Confidence Fails

OK, I see it's been a while since I last posted here, and abandoning this blog was never my intention.  I just tend to get distracted with things and lose my focus now and again.  Hopefully, with only 147 days until I leave for Spain, I can continue to post here the ways in which I find learning a language helpful to opening new doors in life.  That being said, I want to talk a little about my moment of fear and doubt in myself and how it has affected me recently.

I have been a follower of the website Fluent In Three Months since 2010 and the site's host, Benny, has been a great inspiration for me.  I posted the following in his forums about my recent bout of terror regarding meeting him in person.  Read on:

This past Summer, while Benny was touring the globe on his book tour, I was fortunate enough to be presented the opportunity to meet him along one of his stops. He made a stop in Connecticut, about 45 minutes from where I live and I had planned on making the trip to the book store for some time, as the stop had been announced months in advance. I had the day off from work, his book in my hand, and a collection of anecdotes to share with him, yet as the minutes ticked by that afternoon, suddenly an unsettling anxiousness took me over. I was nervous about going to meet him in person although I had been a follower of his site since 2010. His blog inspired my own Spanish language blog that now has almost 900 entries. I've used his platform of making small, three month goals to help me in my journey to speak Spanish and in May of 2015 I will be spending a month alone in Spain with the intention of not speaking a word of English. So what stopped me from making the short drive to meet him? In short, I was afraid. Despite all of my hard work and all of the conversation exchanges I have had through Skype, I was nervous about meeting Benny in person. Why? I was certain he would expect me to speak Spanish. In fact, I was planning on speaking Spanish with him, so what was I afraid of? I was afraid I would say the wrong thing. I was afraid I would conjugate a verb in the present tense that should have been in the past or that I would use a feminine article for a masculine noun. I was afraid that I would tell him how long I had been studying the language and how excited I was to be going to Spain and then I would be unable to say even the most basic phrases. Worst of all, I was afraid that after just one silly mistake, I would fall back into English, knowing full well that Benny speaks English and I could just as easily talk to him in English as I could in Spanish without actually showing that I had learned any Spanish at all. Despite all the advice I have given and received over the years, I suddenly lacked the confidence in myself to use a skill I had been working on attaining for years. I find myself more timid speaking Spanish to those who are fluent in English as they can readily point out my mistakes and we can easily fall into the trap of speaking English instead of our target language. I'm using my trip to Spain as a way to force myself to get over my timidness, as it is less likely I will find those willing to use English in place of Spanish. With roughly 145 days until my trip, I am more and more anxious, but the ticket is bought, the room is reserved, and I can't back out now. I wish I hadn't chickened out of my opportunity to talk with Benny in Spanish, but hopefully I can use this as motivation to practice more and more before my trip. I'd love to hear others thoughts about their experiences with complete loss of confidence.

A New Twist

Just this afternoon, I was reading something which got me thinking about ways in which I can further push myself to speak more, and speak more comfortably in Spanish.  With less than eight months to go before my trip to Spain, I've been feeling a little lax in my progress and despite doing a lot of reading, I have not been writing, or more importantly, speaking, nearly as much as I should.  I constantly tell myself that I should be speaking more, yet I rarely do it as much as I could and while I use writing as a source of practice, that too has suffered a little lately.  One idea that had never really occurred to me was to actually use English as a way to stress my Spanish.  I always thought using English was a crutch to fall back upon rather than something I could use to push me forward, however the suggestions I came across today have inspired me to at least give it a shot and see where it gets me.  Ideally, I'm going to write this post in English and then link it to my Spanish blog and see how well I do translating it all over.  Normally, when I write in Spanish, I do my best to simply write without thinking too much about the English equivalent.  I've written quite a bit in Spanish, but I fear it is often too oversimplified to get my true point across.  I wrote a little about finding your personality in a foreign language and perhaps this will be a way to start on that path.  I'm going to write, in English, on a variety of topics that may come up in everyday conversation when meeting someone who speaks a foreign language and then I am going to try to translate it all into Spanish without dumbing it down too much.  Let's see if this helps or hurts me.  Feel free to comment with your thoughts.

My job:  OK, to most, my job in not all that interesting, but here it is.  I am a manger of a well known fast food restaurant.  I have worked there since I was 16 years old and it's the only real job I have ever known.  My responsibilities include running shifts of 10-15 people, handling hiring and training of new crew members, and making the weekly schedule for the employees.  Of course there are plenty of other tasks I take on every day, but those are the basics.  I enjoy the fast paced environment as well as the variety of people I come across everyday.  I hope to someday be the owner of the franchise, but if I can't do that, there are quite a few of other positions for me outside of working in the restaurant day to day.

My interest in Spanish and Spain:  I started learning Spanish on my own over the summer of 2008.  I had learned a bit in school as a student but it wasn't until I spent my days with many Spanish speaking employees at my job that my desire to really speak the language came out.  After years of being able to hold simplified, broken conversations with my employees, I decided I wanted to truly push myself forward to speak the language as fluently as I could.  I decided to visit Spain for a number of reasons, but mainly because it is the birthplace of the language.  I have never traveled abroad and felt that if I were going to go to a Spanish speaking country, it might as well be the farthest away.  Although I have spoken to a few people through the internet from Spain, I don't actually know anyone there and this trip is definitely going to be a social challenge for me just as much as an educational one.

Hobbies:  I don't have any specific hobbies, per say, except for the things I do to improve my Spanish.  This includes reading books in Spanish, whether they are originally written in Spanish or were translated from another language, writing in Spanish, which can be found here, and watching movies and TV in Spanish.

My home:  I live in Connecticut, a small state northeast of New York.  I live in a small town sort of near the center of the state.  I grew up in Connecticut and have never lived anywhere else.  I like it here but lately have been thinking about trying to see more of the United States.  This country has quite a bit to see and it would be a shame to spend my life only ever seeing this small part of it.

Travel:  I have never traveled much in my life, which is why this trip to Spain is so important to me.  It is my first chance to really see more of the world.  I am hoping to have a great time and if I like it, maybe I will make plans to see more of the world after I get back.

Social issues:  I don't have any one topic that stands out in my mind that I would want to discuss, but there are certainly plenty of things going on in the world that hold my interest and I am sure I could discuss with anyone I meet abroad.

OK, so that´s all I have for now.  After reading this, head over to my Spanish blog and see if it all checks out.  I´m not sure if this will be the secret to my success or not, but it´s worth a shot.

Finding My Voice

Just the other night I tried, somewhat in vain, to explain through my Spanish blog my desire to develop a voice in my Spanish writing.  No, I don't mean I want to sound like Cervantes, per say, rather I want to have a distinctive voice in my writing.  I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a "true" writer, as I have never had anything published, but I would say that I enjoy writing quite a bit and I find I have a rather distinctive sound when I babble on in English.  The question is, can I ever develop an equally distinctive voice when I write in Spanish or am I destined to always sound generic and flat?

I've held this debate with myself several times, both when it comes to writing as well as speaking.  We all have personalities, both on paper and in person when we speak in our native tongue, but what happens when we try to converse in a foreign language, one where perhaps we are unfamiliar with the colloquialisms and subtle nuances of the language we are practicing?  On occasion I have managed to raise a few eyebrows when I do in fact use some sort of common phrase only heard in, say, Mexico, but for the most part, despite my familiarity with Spanish, I still find myself only scratching the surface when it comes to expressing myself in more vivid detail, a must for any novice writer.

One of my goals in my Spanish endeavors has always been to write a short story in Spanish, or at the very least, translate one of my English language stories over to Spanish.  I have struggled with this only because I find myself constantly searching for a way to say something in Spanish that sounds equivalent to me in English.  I find that in order for me to be able to write a short story in Spanish, I first need to be able to express myself freely in the language without constantly falling back on a sloppy English translation.

So my question is this.  Have you manged to insert your personality into your foreign language learning, and if so, how did it come about?  Or perhaps you've managed to create an entirely unique personality that only suits your second language.  How is it different from your native personality?  Even after several years of studying Spanish, I still find myself seeking my true voice.  I'd be curious to hear anyone else's thoughts on this.  Let me know and we'll talk again soon.